The Changes You Need To Make In Your Life…Right Now!
In life, helping others is rewarding. The feeling we get when performing an act of kindness is incomparable to anything else in this world. Its almost like a natural instinct.
But sometimes in life, we can be taken advantage of and not even realize it. And all of a sudden, the dynamic between friends/family change. Standards are created and you enter into a dangerous territory. One where people expect you to behave a certain way/rely on you to bail them out.
Even though this is fine, sometimes we find ourselves going above and beyond for people because of their expectations. And we feel afraid of letting them down. Despite whether we have the means or time to help.
The Power Of Saying “No“
“No” is a powerful word. It is a word you use to protect yourself. Draw Limits. But sometimes it can be hard to say. Especially to someone you care about or genuinely want to help.
In some cases, we don’t realize when we really need to say “no”. We are trapped in a viscous cycle of saying “yes” all the time.
So how can we realize we’ve crossed the line between being helpful and being taken advantage of? What are the signs? And what effects does this cause your health?
The Boundary Between Being Kind And Being Taken Advantage Of
When these boundaries are blurred, it is hard to tell right and wrong apart. In particular to the way people treat you. According to VeryWellMind, “the impact of feeling used can impact your mental health, your relationships and disrupts power balance.”
Signs of being taken advantaged of are reinforced by VeryWellMind who cite research by Marcum:
“People imposing on you regardless of your feelings or time, they person does not make any effort to be there for you, they make no effort to be affectionate with you, the person expects you to take care of their needs.”
Further signs may include:
- They are only in contact with you when they need something.
- The “help” is one sided
- They are not in touch with you unless they need something.
What You Can Do
- Distance yourself. Having a timeout or distancing yourself from this person/group of people can give you space to think and re-prioritize how to socialize with these people. Space can give you time to discover what makes you happy as an individual and to surround yourself around people/things which encourage this happiness.
- Be honest. If this person is approachable, if may be beneficial for you to have a conversation directly with the. It may be the case that they are not intentionally trying to take advantage of you or realize what they are doing to hurt you.
- Talk to someone. Whether this is a friend or a medical professional, it may be useful to speak to an outsider about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing for an impartial point of view. They can help you find clarity and assist you with making positive changes and teach you to say no!
Here are some mental health charities which you can contact for a confidential telephone conversation:
Disclaimer: Please note, this is not advice and is just opinion. If you require advice we recommend you seek guidance from a medical professional.